the Goliard


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Social a la Swedes

Hi! We are new here and would like to introduce ourselves to your readers. We are what is known where we come from as Ballard princesses. Here are a couple of jokes to demonstrate that we don't take ourselves too seriously and have a sense of humor even though we are considered beautiful and hail from way up in the North.

"A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, "He's Swedish.'' Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and repeated, He's Swedish as well.'' The bartender finished, "Now you might think about whether you want to tell that joke, because I'm Swedish, too.'' The customer replied, "I guess I probably shouldn't tell that joke after all. I'd have to explain it three times.''

Here's a little of our personal history that might help you get to know us. We have been living in Seattle where the Scandinavian District is called Ballard. Every year for the 17th of May parade (Norwegian Constitution Day) all Scandinavians line up on each side of Market Street for the parade. As a yearly ritual, the Swedes line up on the East side, the Norwegians on the West. Then, the Swedes throw firecrackers at the Norwegians. Then, the Norwegians light the firecrackers and throw them back. That reminds us that after traveling through Sweden last summer, we noticed that they had something written on the bottom of the soft drink bottles, "Åpnas på andra sidan" we later found out that this means (Opens on the other end). Also while traveling we heard that the Stockholm police got a wanted person report from Interpol. With the fax there was a picture of the criminal, from right, left and straight on. Four days later the Swedish police sent the following fax to Interpol: "We've found the guys on the left and the right, and one of our officers is about to arrest the guy in the middle. While we were traveling around we got a ride with a truck driver who tried to impress us by taking a short cut and got stuck in a tunnel. Eventually a Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling. The Norwegian suggested that we get out and let the air out of the tires. The proud Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! The truck is stuck up on top." he said. We eventually accepted a ride with the Norwegian. 

Well that is just a brief introduction so you can get a feel for our personalities. We are very much looking forward to being correspondents here at the Goliard and telling stories about our travels and experiences. Please write to us if you have any questions about what it is like to be young, attractive and Swedish and we will try to give advice on how to enjoy a world that, despite all the troubles that others seem to be having, we can only really imagine to be wide and full of fruit.