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Volume 3 Issue 3

March 2004

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Letters Archive

Politics - By Jeff Chazire

Works in Progress
The Night Guy

To No Avail Slaps the Tale -  A Jordan Dane Mystery

Adventures of Tar-man

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Culinary Reviews

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- Shelving the Millennium 
- 101 Uses for an Expired Millennium
Reviews & Book Lists

Small Town - by Lawrence Block
Modern Day Goliards worth Investigating
Mark Sundeen
Todd Snider
Richard Linklater
Words you should know
Goliardic Dictionary

- A Word a Day
Scholarly Goliard
Goliard Poems

- Kenneth Patchen

- Real Italian Current Day Goliards

Link to site of Goliard Scholarship winner

Tornado Alley
serious serialized fiction
by Joe Souza

Day Three - My head pounds. I reach up and notice that there's a fresh scab on my skull. And I realize that I must have banged my head against the mini-bar last night. The gash under my eye has caused the whole socket to turn black and blue. I'm sitting in a Wintburgers in the middle of nowhere when I notice this. The half-eaten Taquita Twister in my hand tastes terrible. Grease drips onto my palms and then down past my elbow. Destiny is micro chewing and gazing lovingly at the imaginary bug on the table, unaware that I'm still quite taken with her. Frank begins to walk over to our table. We're both holding pens in our hands as if we're about to duel. 
"Save me," Destiny squeaks, staring down at the table. 
"What?" I whisper. 
"Save me," she repeats, looking up at the ceiling and swallowing. Or it's what I think she has said.

Read more of Tornado Alley

Staff Reviews

Desert Miracle II
Spring the time to be in Tucson

It's been said before and we'll say again now that there's nothing wrong with the desert. That's not entirely true of course and, in fact, once the temperature in the desert hits 95 and above (which it does for about four or five months straight in these parts) there can be a whole boatload of things not only wrong with the desert but downright annoying and unpleasant about trying to habitate there. But we'll lay off the complaining about the heat for awhile, at least until our rose colored sunglasses have melted on our cracking, egg frying dashboards. For now, in March, in Tucson, Arizona, there's not much wrong with the desert at all.

We're not talking specifically about the habitational attributes of the surrounding Sonoran desert itself exactly because, although an abbreviated spring does bloom eternal around this time of year before dying off and giving way to the scorching heat of summer just a few weeks later, this period of burgeoning verdure also fills the temperate air with native and imported pollens. Many folks loath this time of year since they become hyper-allergenic snot machines and sputter around miserably peering out at you through rheumatic eyes. This may actually serve them right however since it was quite possibly them and their ilk that were responsible for importing the plants that have made the area an allergic's nightmare in the first place. We've heard tell that Southern Arizona used to be the place sniffling Americans flocked to for relief but not long after these Michiganders and the like arrived and, no doubt due to the fact that they were breathing so clearly for once that they had all this extra energy for various projects, they looked around and decided that something wasn't quite right with their new home and what would vastly improve the situation aesthetically was planting some of that pretty vegetation they remembered from their childhood. Olive and oak trees begin sprouting up and soon, the quality of an allergic person's life in the desert was dropping with the water table.

Continuing to speak botanically for a moment, the flip side of the above of course is that March in the desert is also when the orange blossoms, jasmine stars, honeysuckle, and Southern Magnolia begin filling the air with their sweet and soothing scents that wash over central Tucson like a lazy wave. And since the university area abounds with citrus trees you know life is good and spring is here when the cool evening breeze is redolent with orange blossoms, brittle bush, and jasmine and budding leaves begin to pop back on the pomegranates and grape vines. Depending on precipitation, the shoulders of the highways are often strewn with the likes of Desert Marigold, Purple Three Awn, California Poppy, Desert Globe Mallow, Lupine, Bladder Pod, Filaree, London Rocket, Popcorn Flower, Desert Rock Pea, and Fair Duster. With temperatures typically hovering around 80 during the day under sunny skies with the occasional stretch of cloud cover and moisture mixed in and dropping into the fifties at night, the desert in March is as pleasant as it gets. And that's without even mentioning the additional goliardly pursuits that one can indulge in as others flock to the area to enjoy the fine weather with us. If we can agree that the goliardly lifestyle is one infused with both the partaking and viewing of all sorts of entertainment and interchange, now is fine time of year.

Horse Racing, as we've already mentioned in these pages, makes it's annual stop during February and is perfectly placed on the calendar as far as a void filling decompression activity goes. An often blustery weekend afternoon spent at the track watching these gorgeous animals run is a fine transition from the frenetics of holiday and football seasons and serves to cleanse the palate for the new year to come. As the ides of march near, spring training, march madness, PGA, LPGA....

(More to come. Too busy out doing the things to write about them)


Staff Recollections

Taking Lives 
Angelina Jolie
considered by the Goliard

Final Writings we've known (click for closeup)

The Flash in the Pan Hollow Man of a Movie Man

Secret Window
Taking  Lives

Mystic River

Starsky and Hutch

Along Came Polly


Welcome to Mooseport

Other Hollow Man Reviews

Bookwoman's Diary

Who is the Bookwoman?

Go to the Diary

Millennial Snippets

* A Parishioner Cuckolded 
* Publish or Parishioner 
* Genuflections 
* A Merkin or a Toupee? 
* A Scrivener Scandalized (Dyslexia) 
* The Agnostic's Prognostications 
* The Ways There Are 
* A Review 
*Conclusions Drawn and Quartered
* The Four Quarters of the Triangle 
* Epilogues Anticipated if Not Realized 
* The Sven is Mightier than the Fjord 
* The Four Norseman of Apocalypse 
* The Culminations 
* The Pulmonations 
* The Palpitations 
* The Galvanations 
* Recidivism 
* A Swerve in the Road

Take me in Boys!  I might just be ready for the whole

Future Features

Geraldo ticketed for urinating by roadside
Go for only to not have stayed
Annual sectional tournament divides region
Pompous Ass found on campus 
Attention received mistaken for something other than boredom relieved
horrid stench pig seen back in area
large turnip with a yellow flesh added to flaxen oxen's food in lieu of just desserts
kegerator explodes at first use
satisfaction guaranteed by haberdasher's upstart son
Marmite found to have cleansing properties


marsha aldrich

Last Update: 05/23/2007
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