the Goliard     a repository
Volume 1 Issue 2

March 2002

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Original Writings

The Night Guy - A Series
Part 2 - The Dumbwaiter

Night Guys FallingSoon, we had grabbed his jug and were sitting up on
the deck with me spitting and him smoking, stamping
our feet to keep warm and hoping to see shooting
stars. The rotgut was going quickly to my head and I made the mistake of wishing out loud
that I had a beer. Harry seemed surprised.

"So you don't like my Gumka?" he said, pretending to
sound hurt and flicking a cigar butt behind him onto
the roof.


"Yes Gumka. That's what I'm callin this refined and aged mix we're drinking of, well what the hell is it, I lose track. It's mostly gin I guess, but with rum and vodka mixed in. And I do believe I detect a touch of that Jagermiester I spruced it up with a few weeks back."

"It taste's like lighter fluid," I said, fighting down another sip. "If only the Quik Mart still sold beer at this hour. I'm tellin you I'd run get a quart of Coors or something."

"You drink that piss? I'm surprised at you Nate. Why support those communists? Nothing but a bunch of union busting Rocky Mountain Krauts. What's wrong with good ol' American Bud anyway?"

"Are you trying to tell me that the Busch family is measurably more ethical and American than the Coor's family?"

"You're goddamn right I am. That's Adolph Coors at the helm you know. Where have you heard that name before? Adolph? And besides, look at a Bud can sometime and you'll see red, white, and blue. Coors comes shrouded in yellow and khaki. Bud is as American as it gets little buddy."

I scratched my head at this latest outburst which came from a man who I happened to know never paid his taxes or voted and had been kicked out of the army for picketing the Vietnam war from inside Vietnam.

What the hey, maybe I'll take a look at the rest of this story.
 I've got nothing better to do...


Gwen's Jeweled Rice


Jasmine Rice
Toasted Slivered Almonds
Raw Pistachio Nuts, Chopped
Golden Raisins
Barberries (remove pebbles)
Candied Orange Peel


Cook rice with low water so kernels are separate (not sticky). To candy the orange peel, cut the peel off orange(s) or kumquats and completely remove pith. Cut peel into slivers. Boil 1 1/2 cup water and 2 cup sugar. Place peel in sugar water and cook 1/2 hour. Place lime juice in water 5 minutes before finished. Drain syrup. Quickly sauté each "jewel" set (e.g., raisins, currants, etc.) separately in 1-2 tbs olive oil over medium heat to plump/glisten. Use slotted spoon to place in ribbons across rice. Mix to serve

.Gwen and Gwen's Jewelled Rice




The Outhouse Has Blown Over

It wasn't a double seater
but it had always been enough

even if our relationship took awhile

Our mother was using one once in Beaverhead
Looked between her knees
and saw a Diamondback

Coiled beneath her
like a rope

I'll rebuild this one if I can
Snakes can't survive up here


Not a Good Painting

Over rated and undersized famous portrait. DaVinci Gay?  


Dogs we've known

The Movie Man's Movie Reviews

The Movie ManWho is the Movie Man?

Blade II
All about the Benjimans
Ice Age
40 Days...
The Royal Tenenbaums
The Time Machine
Scotland PA

Our Man about Town

Our boy in the field..."Who the Hell has been calling me boy? Step out of anonymity and show yourselves!"

Dateline - Puerto Penasco, Mexico

Who is Our Man?

Future Features

Dogs go begging
Local student no longer brags about sister working for Arthur Andersen
Australia dangerous as Hell
All sojourns dangerous to the weak
Jack Black calls his Pot "kettle"
Man calls cops from hotel room to complain of loud radio next door.  Angry neighbor barges into room and points to switched on Walkman in man's own duffel
Nunnery closed
Cop beats motorist rhythmically with baton after failed complete traffic stop then asks if he should "stop" or "slow down"
Moses goes down

Millennial Snippets

* The Meat Lovers Grill
* 1. I resent that incineration
* 2. The Legumes Reaction: Patty
* A. Ill at Ease: A Chicken Omelet
* Too Queasy went the Easy
* Troglodytes So Calm and Wan
* An Upwelling of the Above
* Unmentionables
* Not Ungoverned the Sexy
* Not Unsexy the Governess
* Up Late
* Not Without Merit: A Badge's Report
* Before Us go the Unwashed, Said They

Take me in boys! I think I might finally be ready for the whole Manifesto...


Copyright 2002. All Rights Reserved.