The Goliard Online - Reviews, opinion, original writing, analysis and pith

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Volume 4 Issue 8

Fall 2005

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Goliard Finally Dispatches Staffer to France

The Gaffer Abroad

It is well documented of course that the original Goliards began their stumbling about the glebe somewhere in the center of Europe and we here at The Goliard stateside have long known that we've been remiss in our reporting by not scraping the funds together to dispatch one of our travel writers "over there" to see what things are like for Goliards in the modern day. We were thinking about trying to rectify this recently when we came across some extra funds but, with it being the middle of football season and with cooler temperatures finally here not to mention the intensive new staff orientation going on, none of the core group from the desert office felt like making the trip. The good ship Serendipity set sail for the continent anyway however when we were able to convince a satellite staffer, who was already on his way over the pond, to accept the gig. Once we found that he was going to be in Europe for "business" reasons (although none of us are sure what he actually does) it wasn't too difficult to convince him to provide a "travel blog" so we back at home could share in his adventures. All we were lacking then was an original "Goliard Staffer" nickname. Since he hadn't really put forth an epistolary personality and none of us have actually seen him in person, we didn't have much to work with and, in the end, could do no better than combining the two words Goliard Staffer. Thus The Gaffer was born although it should be pointed out that, as far as we know, the Gaffer has never worked on a film set or actually gaffed anything larger than a pommes frite. Anyhow he's a pretty good writer so you'll want to follow along as he explores the French countryside and please let us know if a more apt appellate becomes apparent as his personality emerges. Here's a small excerpt of what to expect from his adventures:

"Long story short (if thatís still possible at this point) - they fed me a pigeon. Not a whole one, but just a breast and a scrawny leg (probably because they do a lot of walking). Hereís something most people donít know: pigeon is red meat. It was cooked a little rare but tasted just like steak. If word gets out, New York could be the next culinary capital.

Meanwhile, the waves of food kept coming, even things we didnít order but were included in the bargain like a liver cappuccino (thatís right Ė a liver cappuccino), melon soup, and shrimp jello. When the dust settled, my fatherís wallet was significantly lighter, and I would never look at a pigeon the same way again Ė or a cappuccino for that matter."

The Gaffer's Tour of France - Part 1: Stomping around the Savoie

Staff News

Heir Apparent finally joins the ranks

About a year ago, a couple of the original triumvirate that first formed The Goliard, decided to hold a private steering committee meeting. With the third of the original editors off in Manhattan somewhere pursuing other interests, some discussions needed to be had here at the home office about the future of the enterprise and the general state of things. As it happened, the two used the time to also discuss whether it would be appropriate to get together away from the staff offices and form a further partnership doing what is sometimes referred to as "the Devil's business". 

After much intense exchange and hemming and haw about the state of the world, the value of time versus money, and the Goliard legacy, the two decided to go ahead and give procreation a shot. 

Things sailed along almost alarmingly smoothly for nine months or so at which point the above pictured and brand new Goliard came scrapping and clawing into the world. Things are still fairly smooth around the Goliard offices (although somewhat louder) these days with the only real difference being that, with all the, squalling, changing of pants and suck sucking, nobody has any time to do much Goliarding anymore or reporting on same. This to shall pass however and The Goliard, complete with heir apparent who is now fully undergoing the training that will allow her to assume the controls someday, will soon be soldiering on as before.

Sean M. Nepita

An Actor That Defines Our Time


Nepita

 

 

 

Little Honeys We've Known

The Flash in the Pan Hollow Man Movie Man

King Kong

Shopgirl


The Constant Gardener


Broken Flowers


Derailed

Crash

The Longest Yard

Mr and Mrs Smith

Other Hollow Man Reviews

 
Ask the Scotsman

What's this crap about an EU in the USA then?

Bookwoman's Diary

Who is the Bookwoman?

July's Featured Books (Rerun)
*The Corrections
*The Making of the Atomic Bomb
*Strong Motion

Go to the Diary

Millennial Snippets

* Saddle Sores or A New Atrophy
*Deluded the Perspicacious
*A New Horizon Unseen
*An Epiphany Overlooked
*The Garrison as Metaphor
*A Metaphor Appears Over the Horizon as if on Horseback
*A Symbol of the Literal
*The Literal Assembled
*Roll-Call Prior to Reveille
*A Dry-Humping Witnessed

Take me in Boys!  I might just be ready for the whole
Manifesto

Future Features

Geraldo lost in Hurricane Geraldo
Just because a question as never been asked doesn't mean it's a good one
Llama on lam discovered in Bahamas
Couples tend to pair off for winter months
Jack rollers and dry rockers gather for barn stormer
Latitudes and Attitudes not changing anymore despite global warming
Man sees self in mirror and whirls in horror to find second mirror
Corruption suspected from those in continued power
Fish stick chewed, and eventually spat on floor. Even cat gacks it back up.
New marmite sniffing dogs brought into Bali

 

Last Update: 09/06/2010
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