the Goliard
April, 2002


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A Correspondence

[Communiqué Sequence]

Epistle Three


What is happening big Sister?. How come you never write me anymore? I've been missing you guys ever since I went to the movie/discussion of Meet the Parents over at the film school the other night so I wanted to write and say hi before my business takes me out of town again.

First off, you should be forewarned that Dad and Uncle Joe have been grumbling about possibly driving down to visit you and the hubby soon. They don't believe you actually have dogs for one thing and Dad says he wants to see this house of yours with his own eyes. He really seems serious about it. I was telling him about all Pedro's collections and his "trophy room" the other night at the BBQ and it seemed like he missed his baby girl more than ever all of a sudden. Uncle Joe was all drunk and started throwing clothes and tools in the back of the car saying how they should leave right then and before Aunt Sally could stop him he had left a loud, sloppy message on his foreman's machine about how he wouldn't be in to work for a few days seeing as how he had to go out of town on "emergency business." He wasn't making much sense that night anyway and kept calling Pedro a "wetback" even after I would show him pictures of your wedding. They might even have left already. I'll go find out and tell you before I send this letter.

I'm doing good by the way. Modeling school is boring as ever but I guess it keeps me from getting into other kinds of trouble. We've been learning to walk up and down balancing books on our heads lately. I keep telling them that I'm never going to model clothes or anything but they want us to be well rounded. Mr. Abernathy keeps working with me and my friend Shasta on swimsuit stuff and says that if you can look graceful walking a runway in five inch heels and a swimsuit with three books on your head than you can do anything in this business. I go to practice and am actually not bad at the balancing but I'm still only planning on doing hand work. At least until it stops paying the bills. Funny that I only got into this in the first place to get out of doing the dishes.

That reminds me that I have a job lined up for the summer already. I thought for awhile I was going to end up working a gig at some cosmetics counter in the lotion section of the Penny's down at the Three Roads Mall. Instead I talked the local YWCA into letting me teach a morning class for young girls on hand modeling. Some of the girls around here, because of all the cow milking and bag balm that is prevalent, have a real potential I think. And at least it will get me out of the apartment before noon and I'll make a little extra money, honey. I still have my afternoons to hang out by the pool and read the smut novels I'm so fond of. So, you won't have to worry about me calling and saying I'm arriving on your doorstep again. I do intend to visit, however, so you're not completely rid of me. Pedro and I are working out the details and he may fly back here and drive out with me. But I'll let him brooch that subject.

Which reminds me, has Pedro tried that wine from my winery? He probably guzzled it down without even realizing where it was from. That's one of his traits I'm not all that fond of by the way. Even though I love him to death it was hard last summer for me to be around such an undiscerning person as far as drinking bad alcohol goes. And I'm not even as particular about what I drink as I am about some things. (I'm very particular about shoes for example and I only buy my candles at Pier One) Anyway I thought he'd enjoy some wine that I helped make. I continue to like my part time job at the winery. I definitely like drinking, pouring, and selling it more than making it, but sometimes I pitch in...a lot of lifting is involved and I get dirty. And you know my agent has forbidden me to lift anything.

Other than school and work I'm still having fun in Vidalia. My loft apartment is great - I love living alone with just Shasta, Janet, JoJo, Randy, Cuz, and Cubby again. My other friends are also good. Jessica and The Hound are getting all prepared to move into their new trailer and Johnette just had a baby. Beulah Johnanne is the sweetest little thing and doesn't even look like a boiled sausage anymore. I like hanging out for a little while and then GOING HOME! Hee hee hee! Much to Mom's dismay, I haven't found my soulmate yet, but I continue to keep my eyes open. The problem is when I open them, I keep seeing the same Vidalia boys I've always seen. When I'm working in Chicago next week at the shoot I'll be scouting them out. Did I tell you, they're flying me all the way up there just to double for a girl making hamburgers in a Steak and Shake commercial? How rad is that?

Arlene is dropping brother Jones by the loft tomorrow night - we're going to work on his resume. He apparently has made no attempt to find a job and Mom is freaking out. He's walking at his eighth grade graduation. What a geek. He claims that Mom wants him to but I just think he's a nerd. Anyway, May 19th. The rents are throwing a big party in Vidalia East. It would be really cool if you could come home. Nanna wants us all there to take pictures by The Tractor - puke. She's been blabbering about all nine of us going on to Vidalia High. I guess it is kind of cool.

How are you? I want to know all about you. How are those puppies? How is that Percy guy? Are you still doing road shows all the time? Seen any good movies? Have you been writing your faux documentary? Send me anything new. The Oscars - which were not very entertaining - gave me renewed interest in breaking into the entertainment industry. And I have no problem going there on your literary coattails.

Write Back,




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